Sometimes a child’s behavior can interfere with their success in school. We are all familiar with the child who can”t sit still, who doesn’t follow directions, who has trouble making and/or keeping friends. If this child’s teacher has the patience and time they may be able to work at helping the child learn these necessary skills. However, with class sizes growing this isn’t always possible.

By helping your child at home to learn these behaviors they can be successful at school. Studies show that children generalize their learned behaviors from home to school. So helping your child to learn to sit nicely at the dinner table, wait their turn to get your attention, and learn to take turns and share you are helping them succeed in school.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) can guide you as you workto help your child. Once you learn how to calmly and consistently respond to your child they become more compliant. They will learn how to behave better. Then when they go to school their will be fewer behavior problems that can take away from their learning time.

Good luck to you, and call if you need some help!

Often parents end up reinforcing the very behavior they are trying to get their child to eliminate. Because children love and need attention they will do anything for it. Children will accept negative attention as well as positive. If you get in a child’s face, demand eye contact while you ‘teach’ or try and ‘reason’ with them you are giving them some powerful attention. If you yell sharply at your child when they are engaged in a negative behavior they have gotten your negative attention. If you find yourself ‘punishing’ your child for the same behavior over and over you are giving that child negative attention.

Many parents will try different techniques to ‘educate’ their children on how to behave. They may discuss why a behavior is wrong. For example, “if you don’t go to sleep right now you will be very tired in the morning”.  This rarely makes a child eager to go to bed when they would rather be up having fun. Yelling at your child may get him/her to stop. This may stop the behavior temporarily but rarely impacts behavior long term. Finally a parent will often “punish’ a child for negative behaviors such as sassy talk, defiance and more. Some children are very compliant and dislike being punished so this may work for them. Many children either fight the punishment or just get through it only to repeat the behavior all over again.

What I suggest is turning this around. Give your child  that energy and undivided attention for behaviors you want them to repeat. If they are sharing with someone give them a hug, praise or just a smile. The same goes for when they are waiting nicely at the store, doctor’s office or on errands. Be aware of reinforcing behaviors you approve of and hope your child repeats. Going to bed nicely when asked should earn your child genuine praise and attention!

Tantrums are very common in childhood. Many times it is a child’s only way to express feelings of fatigue, frustration or anger. They generally begin to occur around the second year of life however, many occur sooner. They also decline as a child’s vocabulary increases and their sense of frustration and anger have other outlets. But often parents report children tantrum even when it seems their child could express themselves more effectively.

One of the reasons this happens is due to the response children get when they tantrum. As a parent, grandparent, caretaker, do you try to ‘talk’ the child out of their tantrum? Do you become angry and punish your child or do you give in to their demands just to stop the noise? Any of these responses are attention. Your child has gotten your full attention.

To decrease tantrums parents or caretakers need to remove all attention. After assuring yourself that your child is not in any pain or danger remove all attention. This means, don’t look at, talk to, or attend to the tantruming child.

Your child may increase the volume and frequence to see if they can get your attention again. If you remain consistent and ignore all attempts the child makes for attention you will elminate tantrums. it is that easy!

to make sure your child gets good attention be sure and smile, hug or praise your child when they calm down and use their words.